Where in the hell do I even begin?
Inhumans was first announced as part of phase three of the Marvel Cinematic Universe back in late 2014. It was intended to be the twentieth film and, as Kevin Feige put it, would change the MCU in much the same way the tenth film, Guardians of the Galaxy, did. It was originally slated for a November 2018 release date, though no directors or writers had been attached yet. In a surprising twist, the Inhumans weren't introduced in the movies; instead they were formally introduced in season 2 of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., indicating a deeper connection between the movie and TV sections of the MCU.
Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be. In late 2015, Ike Perlmutter, as previously mentioned, was ousted from Marvel Studios with Feige reporting directly to Disney. Inhumans have been Ike's pet project for years at Marvel Comics, he had been using them as a pseudo-replacement for the X-Men due to the film rights belonging to Fox instead of Marvel. However, when Perlmutter was booted from Marvel Studios, his drive to have an Inhumans movie made vanished and the project was delayed indefinitely. Thus, the movies never have to acknowledge the Inhumans.
However, Perlmutter still wanted his Inhumans on the big screen. So, he commissioned a deal between IMAX and Marvel Television (which he still is a big part of) to create a limited series based on the Inhumans. In an unprecedented move, the first two episodes would be shot with IMAX cameras and released in IMAX theaters nationwide. The result is the 8-episode first season of Inhumans.
And it sucks.
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| The average face of someone watching this series. |
First mistake: rehiring Scott Buck, AKA he who made Iron Fist boring.
Second mistake: putting all their money into using IMAX cameras and shooting in Hawaii and then hiring awful cinematographers.
Third mistake: leaving no money for visual effects or production design.
Fourth mistake: hiring a cavalcade of untalented actors, with only a few bright spots among the cast.
The mistakes made were simply too much for this show, and it added up to a total disaster both for ABC and the MCU. Iron Fist at least had some redeeming qualities like a strong supporting cast and some solidly directed episodes. Not so here. Some actors lift up the material to the best of their ability, but it is simply not enough to save this totally dreadful show. Yes, it was not meant to be a limited series. But you can be damned sure it is after those awful reviews and ratings. Talk about egg in the face to all parties involved.
So, the first episode begins any good first episode should begin: a chase scene filmed with shaky cam. Don't forget, this was shot with IMAX cameras, so I can't imagine what this looked like to those who actually paid to see this in an IMAX theatre. Anyways, it culminates with the death of Triton, an Inhuman tasked with bringing more of his kind to the safety of Attilan, where the Inhuman royal family lives on the moon. So, Triton dies and there's no way he'd turn out to be alive because that would be an insanely stupid plot twist.
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| Look at that architecture! You can really feel that the person who designed it was color blind. |
After an ungodly awful opening title card that has to be seen to be believed, we move on to Attilan. As previously mentioned, it's on the moon. So it should look cool, right? I mean, I guess if you like dull blacks and whites, it can be cool. But the city is completely devoid of color, memorable architecture, or anything interesting to look at. A stark contrast from the art of Jack Kirby and company, there's nothing inspired about these sets. And considering we have to look at them for eight episodes, it's simply embarrassing. Maybe if the show hadn't spent so much money on IMAX technology it barely uses, the sets could have looked more inspired.
Anyways, we soon learn there's bad blood in the royal family. Black Bolt, the leader of the Inhumans with the power to destroy anything with his voice, has tense relations with his brother, Maximus, an Inhuman whose powers never woke. Maximus believes the non-powerful people of Attilan should be living a better, fairer life without having to mine all day. Meanwhile, Black Bolt believes in the caste system and that his people are totally fine while he bangs his hot wife, Medusa, with the power to control her hair to do her bidding.
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| "Hey, don't look at me. I'm trying my best here." |
...Wait, Maximus is the bad guy? You mean he's not the heroic rebel against a corrupt monarchy? He's just a spiteful guy jealous of his gifted relatives? Does this mean there's no one likable in this show? Yikes. Anyways, despite the fact that Maximus should obviously be the hero, Iwan Rheon is the main highlight of this show. Though his character is weakly written, Rheon devours the scenery any chance he gets, almost as if he's one of the few actors who knows this material sucks but at least tries to save it.
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| "Me, good actor. You, also good actor." |
Anson Mount also delivers a worthwhile performance as Black Bolt, effectively emoting without ever saying a word. He may look stern all the time but he carries himself well on screen, so it's a shame that he didn't make the jump to the big screen. Serinda Swan is also fine as Medusa, even though her character motivations flip at the drop of a hat and half her dialogue is translating Black Bolt's sign language. It also doesn't help that she loses her powers in the first episode, so we only get to see her nifty hair abilities twice. In the entire show's run. Yeah, the CG didn't look great, but it was visually unique. Can't have that in this show.
Any other highlights in the cast? Well...Lockjaw is fun. Yes, I'm aware he's a giant CG dog but he has more personality than the rest of the royal family combined. Everyone else gets split up in their own uninteresting or unexplored subplots where they meet various Hawaiians and learn that maybe, just maybe, us mere humans aren't so bad.
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| Enter: Discount Felicity Smoak |
So is this show worth watching? Honestly, unless you're an MCU completionist like myself...no. It's a colossal waste of potential that has already been forgotten by the rest of the TV shows. I don't even like writing about this show, I couldn't even bring myself to rewatch the awful first episode (not like the other 7 are much better). Hell, when I was digging for screencaps to post here, I couldn't even find a devoted gallery online like I usually do, hence why there are fewer images in this retrospective. That's how little of a shit everyone gave about this series.
In the end, Inhumans was undone by the greed of Marvel's CEO, an awful head writer who has now sabotaged not one but TWO different Marvel TV shows, misguided use of its budget, and so on and so on. This is Marvel's biggest failure in their cinematic universe without a question; a direct result of a company undone by its hubris, and will fade into obscurity. The same obscurity Ike Perlmutter tried so desperately to pull these characters out of.
In the next installment, things are noticeably less sucky as the MCU's weakest film franchise gets a long awaited shot in the arm.
Next time: Thor: Ragnarok
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